Never stop hoping, never stop dreaming, never say never
They think they know you from what they see but these feelings run deeper than you and me
It’s always the ones with the ugly insides who try to make you feel bad about your outsides, but if your soul is beautiful, you are beautiful
No one is allowed in who doesn’t make this place better.
Funny how when we think our life is going nowhere it’s actually headed everywhere
No light, no life
I often think of the girl standing alone with her ripped up tee and punk rock tattoos, all the signs telling you to stay away, when in reality she never needed anyone more
Take the drugs they give you and live a shorter, happier life, or don’t take them and live a lonnnnng unhappy one. Great choices
There is nothing sadder than to know you’ve been…
🙏🏼
❤️
Wanting to put the End to my Endometriosis
Ugh. Periods. Vaginas. Bleeding. Pain. None of it is fun. It sucks actually, and it sucks even more for women who also have to deal with the icing on the endometrial cake- Endometriosis.
I never really went into detail about this before but I figured it might help someone else so here we go- My obgyn has told me I’ve had endo for years. It started with insanely painful periods as a teen, featuring glob like blood clots that looked like something out of a horror movie, and more blood than what pours out of the elevator in The Shining. I didn’t get it. I was a small, thin girl, why was all this shit coming out of me??? And why so painfully??? I had girlfriends at the time who would get their period and be like- “Wanna go shopping?!” Meanwhile if I got my period I had to stop whatever I was doing, take pain pills and lay down for a week with a heating pad on my vag. I didn’t get it. Why? But more importantly, what could I do?
My doctor wanted to put me on birth control to help because I also had developed several ovarian cysts and the birth control would supposedly shrink them. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, I couldn’t take the birth control with the antidepressant I was on and so I had to stick to the pain meds and heating pad routine once a month. That was if I even got my period. Sometimes I would go months without getting it then boom! It’s the battle of Normandy in my ovaries.
I tried coping the best I could and survived this long without any birth control etc. Just dealt with the pain and took time off around my cycle until I could function again. Of course there was always the random trips to the hospital for a cyst rupture here or there but that was just the norm. Just my life. I thought I had it pretty under control…until now.
About a month ago I started experiencing severe right side/back pain. I went to the hospital because I figured it was my kidneys but tests were all clear. Blood was clear, urine was clear, MRI was even clear…but I was in SOOOO much pain and it was getting worse and worse by the day. I ended up in the ER and they did an ultrasound and told me I had polycystic ovaries. Great. So now, endo, AND polycystic ovaries. RAD. It broke my heart but it made sense. I had always had weird facial hairs growing out of my face and acne, and ALWAYS cysts rupturing.
So now, at 32 years old, I’m looking for answers. The endo pain in combo with the cystic ovaries was getting to be too much, it’s still too much. I went to my obgyn today and she prescribed me Orlissa. It’s a new drug that’s supposed to be the end-all, be-all for endo patients. I took my first dose of 200mgs today and here’s what happened- Within a few minutes I felt dizzy and tired, like I was almost in a fog, then within 30 minutes I felt my endo pain dissipating, and within an hour it was gone completely. I was stunned. Although I did end up getting so tired from the medicine I fell asleep, and got a pounding headache, it really beat not having to feel my insides for a few hours.
Now, this is only my first time taking it and I read that it can have some gnarly side effects such as- crazy hot flashes and weight gain, so I’ll keep you posted. Also I took it at 4pm and it’s 2am now and I feel it wearing off and the pain coming back :(
BUT I wanted to share this because I never really talked about my endo and I wanted people who also have it to know they aren’t alone in this uphill battle. It’s shitty and quite frankly I think all this depression/anxiety/endo shit is all related. I’m going to do my best to keep trying to figure this out and keep you posted as I get there…
Stay strong sisters ❤️
Love
Britt
The key to happiness
If you want to be happy with your life you absolutely must stop comparing your life to others. Firstly, you must remember that NOTHING is what it seems. Those people you think have perfect lives may be fighting battles you know nothing about.
Secondly, not many people realize that by focusing your energy on comparing your life to others you are stunting your own progress. That the time you’re using comparing your life to the lives of others could be MUCH better used thinking of ways to better your own life.
I know it gets hard. Especially with social media. All of these “perfect” people with their “perfect” pictures and their “perfect” careers and “perfect” relationships. Let me tell you something- It’s not perfect, trust me. I’m friends with many successful people who have textbook “perfect” lives and 90% of them are miserable. You need to remember you are not living that life; you have not taken their path. That life was not made for you. Everything that is for you in this life will be FOR YOU. Not them, but you. And what is for them in this life will be for them. Their success does not take away from your success and there is enough for everyone. If you want something enough, it will happen for you. 100%
Next time you get stuck obsessing over someone else’s life just stop and Visualize. Visualize where you want YOUR life to be, what you want, where you want to live, what you want to do. Think about it. Think about it everyday. Make a vision board of your goals and look at it everyday. I know it sounds cheesy but it works. Once your goals are established, your subconscious mind will spring into action to make you subconsciously take little steps each day to bring you closer to these goals. But the main thing is- don’t get caught up in other people’s success, or love, or anything because not only is it a waste of time, it’s not real. And if you do, stop and bring the focus back to you. You can have everything you want in this life….it is very possible, so make that choice for yourself
You can do this
🖤
Brittany
Late night thoughts
I stay up at night thinking about a lot of things but what’s been keeping me up lately is how life is so fleeting…it felt like 1 minute ago I was 17 trying to find my way and now I’m 32 and married! The crazier thing is, I remember how I felt inside when I was 17 because I feel the exact same way now…like, I didn’t evolve in my emotions, still the same ol’ 17 year old Brittany. So then that leads me to thinking that when I’m 80 am I still going to feel like a 17 year old inside? A 17 year old trapped inside an 80 year old’s body???😳 Ugh, it’s all so scary. I see my body aging (slowly) but my mind feels so young. I feel like I’m still not an adult. Like, I just keep waiting for the moment where I go- “Ah, I’m an adult now”. But I’m not there. I’m a child inside, and I’m starting to think I might forever be a child inside. Whenever I meet someone, even if they’re my age, I automatically look at them like they’re the adult and I’m just some kid. It’s so weird. Is it bad to be a child forever? I feel like adults are all too serious…I don’t want that. My inner child isn’t going down without a fight. The weirder thing is, growing older on the outside but feeling like a teenager on the inside….Ugh… it’s all too much…I need to sleep.
V accurate